As my current apartment lease was coming to an end, I began to get excited about the fact that my roommates were moving out. The experience of living with them was one that I was ready to be rid of.
Over the past few weeks, I asked the universe to give me clarity and steer me in the direction of my purpose. As it was getting closer to the move-out date, my body became anxious. I was overwhelmed with work, side projects and trying to find possible tenants to take over my other rooms. Finding the balance in it all and the anxiety that was beginning to grow was leaving feeling exhausted.
Finally, the move-out date came, my roommate came to the apartment two hours before the move-out time. I thought she was planning to get the remainder of her thing, I woke up to a trashed apartment. After already having an emotional past few weeks. The anxiouis feeling that built up finally came to a halt. I realized my anxious feelings were coming from the move.
My apartment complex sent over someone to clean the apartment. I was dog sitting for my co-worker and unable to monitor the cleaning process. I told the cleaning woman that my room door was closed and she could clean the remainder of the apartment. Once she completed the cleaning she sent me a video. I was excited to see the apartment was so clean and clear. Then that’s when I saw it or didn’t see it. My kitchen appliances, non-perishable food items and living room things were gone.
The cleaning woman cleared out EVERYTHING in the apartment. She threw away everything that was mine and the roommates. That’s when it. hit me, I broke down and had a meltdown. The frustration of the past few weeks all of my frustrations came up. The act of trying to hold it altogether and act as what I thought an adult should was out.
Thankfully my friend Trish let me call her a million times, crying, through denial, frustration, acceptance. It felt like I was mourning a loss and I know what you’re thinking it’s material things that I lost. At the time it was the special mugs or the thought of starting over.
What Did All Of This Teach Me?